Relationship Collage
Have you ever been to a going away party? It could be someone at work who is moving to a different job, a friend moving out of state, or even someone at church moving to another town and joining a new church. Have you ever received a going away party from when you had to leave a group of friends? Think back for a moment on the party. Was there a gift given to the person leaving? Was it a token for that person to remember everyone and the time together? What was the gift? Could it have been a picture? This would be a great way for someone to remember everyone. Maybe it was even a group of pictures? Maybe a group of pictures combined together to form a memory set that represents all the friends and events that were shared together. I bet it was. I bet the gift was a collage. It is a great way to remember everyone.
When you look at the collage, you see different people in different settings. Each picture is a single event that represents a given activity with a group of friends at a specific time. Combining these pictures into one frame creates a new picture. It is something new, a sum of the pieces.
Life is like this. Each set of relationships you have is like a single picture, a snapshot of time and people. These individual pictures get combined into the frame of your life to form your relationship collage or your community. This community is the sum of all your interactions each day. Some pictures from friends, some acquaintances, some co-workers, maybe both co-workers and friends, maybe family or spouse. If you could look at this relationship collage, you could see the big picture of how the interactions impact and drive the decisions in your life. Imagine your relationship collage. Think of it hanging on a wall in front of you. See the picture frame with all the individual pictures in it. Now focus on one picture. What do you see? Who are the people in the picture? What are you doing? Where are you? Are you at work with colleagues, or at dinner with some friends? Look at the picture next to it. What is it a picture of? Look at them all piece by piece. Now take a step back and look at all the pictures together. What shape does it take? How do the individual photos reflect the big picture of your life?
Unlike the picture collage given to someone at a going away party, your relationship collage is always changing. It is like a never-ending puzzle. All the individual pieces coming together to form a big picture, but all the pieces changing. Sometimes the pieces change just a little, sometimes they change a lot. Sometimes the pieces change so much that the overall picture takes on a new form.
Switzerland
One interesting thing about moving to Switzerland was that in a blink of an eye, the frame of my relationship collage grew and there was a brand-new section of white space that needed new pictures to fill in. All of my other relationships are still in the frame, the pictures from all the relationships I have formed and still maintain, I now have an open canvas that is waiting for me to go out and find pictures to add to it. I call this section my Swiss canvas. Looking back, it has been interesting how my Swiss canvas has evolved.
Thought for the day – When given the chance, try to make your picture frame bigger.
When I first arrived, I already had a piece of the puzzle in place. I had my friends I worked with doing support. There was the team I would join and the manager who hired me. I also had a group of people who helped me move and arranged everything for me when I got here. My Swiss collage was already growing, and I was off to a great start.
When I first moved here, I could not go to work because I did not have a work visa. SAF allowed me to take advantage of this time by enrolling me in German classes. They arranged for everything. They paid for the classes and even provided me with a train pass so I could get to Konstanz. So, Monday through Friday I would get up and walk Cowboy, and then walk to the train station and ride to Konstanz. From there I would walk to my class. The classes were in the morning and I could be home in the afternoon to go out again with Cowboy.
Konstanz is like a melting pot. So many people from so many places come and go from Konstanz. My German class was a good representation of this. We had a basic group of 5 people plus our teacher. We were from Texas, France, Argentina, Africa, and China. One more snapshot for my collage with a diverse group of people. Coming together by chance because we all recently moved to Konstanz an all wanted to learn German. If not for the German class we may have never gotten to know one another. Because of chance my collage was enriched. All very nice and fun people. I was lucky to know them.
My Swiss Family in Tägerwilen
The first group of people I was fortunate enough to add to my Swiss collage was the people from work. I will never be able to put into words how lucky I am to work with such an amazing group of people. I have many photos in my collage from work. Pictures of Wine Walks, Christmas Parties, Summer Parties, BBQs, Ski trips, May-day walks, Oktoberfest, Weihnachtsmarkt… Many activities all full of wonderful people having a good time. My collage has pictures from inside the office. Pictures of special days, like someone’s birthday; to pictures of the every day where we are working and sharing our lives.
My collage has photos of a work environment I feel privileged to be a part of. It is a special work environment. What makes the work environment and the people special is that they are more of a family than colleagues. They take care of each other. They celebrate the good times and comfort each other in the bad times. They care more about making each other successful than being successful themselves. They really want what is best for each other. In the US when you ask someone how’s it going, it is more of a greeting, like saying hello. When they ask how’s it going, they really want to know how you are. They stop and wait for an answer. Everyone. Positions and titles don’t matter. They do not play office politics and games. We are all there just trying to do a good job and want everyone to be successful and happy.
In 2017 I had health issues that prevented me from fulfilling all my responsibilities at work. My colleagues recognized the issues without me saying a word. They said nothing about it. They drove me home when I needed help. They finished the work I couldn’t finish. They made sure everything I was supposed to have done, got done. Never a word, never taking credit, never asking for anything in return: just family making sure family was ok. If you read this, thank you. I have tears in my eyes now as I am writing this. You are special and sooooo appreciated.
Thought for the day – It is not the job you have but the people you work with that really matters
I am lucky to be a part of the SAP Tägerwilen family. Life is constantly changing, but this environment is something you should work to not lose.
Uta - German Teacher and Friend
My teacher’s name was Uta and we become friends. She is a super awesome lady who helped me out a lot. She and her husband Martin (who is also awesome) and I would meet every so often for coffee or lunch, we even went to the circus once.
After I moved into my apartment and decided to get a TV (I am skipping ahead, but no spoilers), they came to my rescue when I had issues paying for it. It turns out that the bank has a limit you can take out from your debit card, and I did not have a credit card yet. I did not know about the limit. I had researched the TV. I wanted and went to pay for it and pick it up. I got to the register and had an issue with my card. I did not understand the problem because I knew I had the money in the bank. I did not speak German well enough to understand the problem. I called Uta all worried that all my money was stolen from my bank account and that was why my transaction was declined. Uta and Martin came out and found out what the issue was. They explained the limit on the card and let me know everything was ok. I will talk about other banking issues later. It is not easy trying to do banking in a language you do not understand. They explained that it was common for people to prepare for making a large purchase by making several withdrawals over a period of a few days in advance, or going into the bank and directly taking out the cash. Not only did they tell me what I needed to do, but they loaned me the money so I could buy the TV then and not have to wait until the next weekend.
You know, it is funny. Uta and I really don’t hang out much, especially lately. However, she has always been a friend and confidant for many years while I was here. When I needed someone to talk to about something she was always there for me. I have always been very lucky about meeting good people. It goes to show that you may not have many pictures in your collage of someone, but the pictures you have are special.
Fun In Konstanz Group
The fun in Konstanz group is another gang of good people. Again, it comprises people from all over the world. The people in the picture change, but the picture is always full of smiling people.
I had the pleasure of being there when the group first started. Sean and Christian, two amazing people, are the co-founders. Poker games, movie nights, Oktoberfest, Clubs, Lunches, Breakfasts, Weihnachtsmarkt…
I have not been active in a while, but every time I see them, I get a great big hello.
If you ever are in Konstanz Germany, look up the Facebook group Fun in Konstanz. If you need help or just want someone to show you around, post to the group. Someone will step up and be there for you. It is that kind of group with those kinds of people.
Thought for the day – Friends may come and go, but the pictures you make with them on your relationship collage will last forever.
Reflections of my Collage
Some mornings I like to pour myself a cup of coffee, sit outside, and look at my relationship collage. I lean back in my chair and take a deep breath of the fresh air, take a sip of coffee, and close my eyes. I am standing in front of the wall where I have my collage hanging. I take a step closer and find the section that has my Swiss pictures. One more step. I am right in front of it now. Only able to see a few pictures at a time, but can see them clearly now. Now I focus on one photo at a time. Seeing the people, what we are doing.
I can see the pictures of the people I have not seen in a while or do not see often. Like the ones from the people I met on my many trips and travels, or the ones from my German class. People that were only a small part of the overall experience, but still part of the collage and still important. People who made an impact on my life in a positive way.
I look a little to the right and I can see the pictures from the groups I was in like Fun in Konstanz or International Fusion. Pictures full of smiles and laughter. Friends that come in and out of my life, little snippets that help to build the overall picture. Friends that if I were to see again would produce more pictures full of smiles and laughter. More photos for my collage.
I shift my gaze up and now I see pictures from my work family. Pictures of the office, working as teams to make a difference for our customers. Pictures of people from everywhere in the office. One family regardless of positions, titles, or work areas. Pictures of lunches where we share our lives, the good and the bad. Pictures where we are helping each other. Pictures at the coffee machine talking to a friend. I see pictures of parties and events. More smiles, more laughter. Pictures full of love.
I examine them one by one. These beautiful pictures. Photos that collectively make my relationship collage and show my community.
I pull back. No longer looking at the individual pictures. Back further, no longer seeing the groups of pictures. Now I am looking at the entire Swiss picture. The one picture made of thousands of pictures. This is the picture that shows the life and relationships I had in Switzerland. I look at this picture and smile, because it is a beautiful picture.
Thought for the day – May your relationship collage be big, full and beautiful. May you be able to look at it often, and smile.